Letter from Ramiro in Burley, Idaho

Dear Mr. Sorensen,

Hi! My name is Ramiro. I enjoyed your presentation because you gave us a lot of  facts and information for our brains. I am a worker in the kitchen and I had to leave early, so I didn’t get to see the gun shot. But I heard it. Boy oh boy, did I hear it! One lunch lady screamed and dropped her pan of Jello and said a bad word that rhymes with spit. Only it wasn’t spit. It just rhymes with spit.

Your friend,

Ramiro

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Hello Ramiro,

Thanks for your great letter. Idaho is mountain man country. I have been visiting your school on the south bank of the Snake River for over 25 years. In April of 1986, I stopped at the Burger King in Burley to get a Whopper. President Ronald Reagan was talking on the TV telling the Russians to tear down the wall in Berlin. That was back in the day when people smoked in restaurants and there were ashtrays at every table. While I was having dinner, a couple teenagers from the high school sat down in the booth next to me. They each had a large order of fries, some onion rings, and a bottle of ketchup. That was back in the day when restaurants still put bottles of ketchup on each table instead of giving you those annoying little squeeze packets that were invented by communists. Anyway, one of the teens picked up the ketchup bottle then realized he had nothing to pour the ketchup into. No worries. He just  grabbed the ashtray and dumped the cigarette butts into a planter box next to their booth. Then he filled the ashtray with ketchup. Those teenagers started dipping their fries and onion rings into the ashtray. When they were finished one of them wiped his mouth on his sleeve and said, “I ain’t skeered of no Russians.” I thought to myself, if the Russians ever invade America, they better steer clear of Burley, Idaho. That place is home to some tough, red-blooded Americans. God bless America and Burley, Idaho. And God bless you too Ramiro.

Your friend,

Grizzly